After my two weeks in Melbourne, Australia, I came home with a brown paper bag overflowing with books, zines, lit mags and comic books, all created in the fertile Melbourne spoken word scene. From that bag I have plucked out the best, and with no further ado, I present you with the O’Keefe Aptowicz Awards for Australian Excellence!
BEST USE OF A MUSE
The Naked Muse by Melissa Petrakis
I am rather infamous in my community for writing poem after poem after poem about one unrequited crush. I wrote so many poems about this one guy that in one of my chapbooks I actually changed his name so that people wouldn’t think I was a stalker. I wish I had had Melissa Petrakis’ book when I was doing the layout for that book, because every one of the poems in her 69-page book The Naked Muse is about the same guy! With titles ranging from “You Came to Me Naked” to “I Get on Your Nerves” to “Please Leave Me Be” to “A Woman Re-Corked,” the book tells a story for all women who have loved & lost but never got over that one particular man.
BEST LOOKING BOOKS
F 'n' L Osowski
Frank and Leona Osowski, a husband-and-wife team, are not only avid abstract poets, but also publishers of some of the most unusual and creative books I have ever seen. Using a seemingly endless variety of materials, “F’n’L” make books of paper, cloth, metal, paint, rubber and all sorts of found objects. My favorite book? The Redheads 50 collection: two tiny clothbound books about the animal-auto connection that you hiply carry around with you in a tiny, vintage “Redheads” matchbox.
MOST CREATIVE PLAGIARISM
Sean Whalen, The Melbourners
Sean Whelan, who is one of the movers and shakers in the Melbourne spoken word scene, is also a total procrastinator. Instead of making a chapbook himself, he creates books on request by pasting his own poems into the pages of old paperbacks he buys in Melbourne thrift stores (or “Op Shops,” as they call them). I got a great one, The Melbourners, made from an old copy of Dubliners (the new title handwritten over a crossed-out “Dubliners”), which even includes a picture of Whelan on the back sporting a very James Joycean eye patch. But what started out as a clever twist on the traditional chapbook became an even bigger treat when Whelan’s poetry proved to be some of the best that I’ve read from Down Under. Mixing a wicked sense of humor, a really honeyed-sweet side and total creative freedom, Whelan is one to watch if and when he ever releases a “real” book.
BEST EVOLUTION OF A LIT MAG
Going Down Swinging, editors Alicia Sometimes & Adam Ford
What started out 20-some-odd years ago as a simple magazine for emerging voices has evolved into a new millennial lit mag, complete with spoken word CD. Short pieces of fiction, personal manifestos and funny rants are all par for the course in Going Down Swinging, and CD poems that are live, with music and just the words and
voice.
HANDS DOWN WINNER OF THE UNOFFICIAL MELBOURNE CUTE BOY SLAM
Steven Smart, author of Nevermind the Bollocks… Here’s Some More Bollocks
At my New York reading series, Urbana, we have an annual event called the “Cute Boy Slam,” where single male poets compete not only to look cute, write cute and perform cute, but to embody the essence of cuteness with every ounce of their being. Barely out of his teens, but already having perfected the smoker’s gruff voice, all-black wardrobe and “give the boy a bowl of soup” skinniness, Steven Smart immediately struck me as Melbourne’s leading contender. Two things sealed the deal: one, the poor boy got struck by a car (struck by a car!) and now hobbles around in a soft cast with a cane. And two: the boy wrote the most intensely funny, poignant, angst-ridden poems out there. With titles like “Puppies on Prozac,” “Sucker for Religion” and “Response to Rejection” (and those are just the first three poems in his chapbook!), he is a one acid, on-target and cute-as-hell rising star to watch. And ladies, he promised to make a trip to the States soon. Stay tuned…
BEST USE OF A “HAS BEEN”
Adam Ford
Though hardly a has-been, Adam Ford, author of Not Quite the Man for the Job, an award-winning cult favorite, has been spreading himself around with much success. He edits the wildly successful and innovative Going Down Swinging. He is learning animation and has produced a witty mini-comic book called The Book of Job (as interpreted by Adam Ford). And he's been frequenting the spoken word hot spots in Melbourne and helping shape the new generation of writers. Be aware though, the poet is striking back with a new book called Evil Robot Monkey.
And for our final award, we have:
BEST FIND
PiO (“Pie Oh”), Numbers
The moment I opened up this collection of poems, I was hooked, and bought not only one, but two copies immediately after I found it. Using only numbers, PiO creates boxes of poems that are among the most clever uses of page space I have ever seen. Using only numbers in a ten by ten square, PiO writes unusual yet insightful poems about the world, relationships and the self. If you can track this book down (I tried looking for it on Amazon.com: denied!), buy it immediately!
So those are the awards! Congrats to everyone, and now I'll go back to rereading my favorite poems and trying not to melt into the swampy heat of this ridiculous New York City summer. Sigh… you know, it’s winter in Melbourne right now...
Cristin O'Keefe Aptowicz
