Anyway, National Poetry Month is always a special challenge for Satan. Because, as a poet, this is my month. Because, come hell or high water or really gross old men who call me by my name because they can read it on my nametag, I’m gonna move poetry outta the store. This is a huge challenge, because, as we all know, stupid people may write a lot of poetry, but they don’t read it. But I’ll do it; I’ll do it any way I can. And here’s the secret: people may be stupid, but they sure don’t want anyone to know they’re stupid. So I embarrass them.
This is what I’ve had to do this month alone. I’ve put Yusef Komunyakaa’s newest book on discount with big signs that say, "You won’t believe your luck! This first edition alone will someday be worth your whole Beanie Baby collection!” That sold seven. I’ve read Ginsberg poems in a purring little dominatrix voice near the register (“I’ve seen the best minds of my generation...”), and that actually worked twice. I’ve said, “You know Sharon Olds; didn’t you see her on Rosie O’Donnell last week?” or “You have no idea how close Don Imus and Galway Kinnell are; I mean, they’re like this.” And it all works. Not enough for my satisfaction, but I do what I can.
But I’m pleased to announce who the best selling poet of the month was: wanna guess?... Homer. The new Robert Fagles translation of Homer’s Odyssey is read by Ian McKellen, for 15 hours on cassette. (“59.95,” my manager said, as she rubbed her hands together” -- compare current prices.) “Move over John Grisham!” I barked cheerfully to customers: “Tom Clancy has nothing on this guy Homer! Talk about your big battles, talk about the big weapons, the great sex scenes; you know that phrase the Trojan Horse? This guy invented that phrase -- oh, but that’s in a different book, this is kind of the sequel to that one (tee-hee). And Ian McKellen? What do you mean, you never heard of Ian McKellen? He’s, like, huge in Hollywood, they don’t get bigger than this, he just signed on Leo’s next movie, yeah, they’re headlining together.”
And you know why I pushed that poet harder than any other? Because, more than anyone else, Homer was meant to be read aloud. He is the original performance poet -- the guy was blind, so he didn’t stand there and read his stuff from a manuscript. No, Homer hosted the first open mike around the fire, and okay, his stuff went a little over three minutes, but that was long before the three-minute rule was instituted, and even Michael Brown wasn’t born yet. So I’m right, and Satan or God bless me, there are 29 people driving around Suburbia in their minivans, listening to Ian McKellen reading Homer, and I’d really like to think that at least one of them finds this poem so compelling that, after they pull into the garage and get the kids and the groceries out, and push the button to close the garage door? They stay just a few minutes extra, with the key in the ignition, to listen, to see how it all turns out.
~Eve Stern
Eve Stern grew up in Washington, D.C. and Mexico. She left behind a Harvard degree, a Mellon Fellowship, a husband, one dog, ten cats, and a really nice house -- to become an outlaw performance poet with one cat, two tattoos, a pierced nose and a pretty great apartment. She only regrets her decisions in the middle of panic attacks.
She was a member of the 1997 Boston Team at the National Poetry Slam, and was the coach for the Ozarks Team at the Nationals in 1998. She has featured throughout the country, inhabiting her outrage on stage, radio, television and, of course, the page. She has published previously in The Boston Poet, Forbidden Panda, MAP of Austin Poetry, the Ozarks Poets and Writers Collaborative, Arula Records, and The Cape Poet.
Her first collection of poems, Whenever Wonder Knocks, was published in May of 1997; her second collection, Passport Photos, came out in 1998. She can be heard on An Out of Body Experience, an anthology CD of Boston women poets. Her favorite poet is still John Milton -- go figure: some things never change. Needless to say, she no longer works at Barnes & Noble. You can read her work online at:
Blue Fifth Review - “Longing for Pangaea”
